Do I Own a Shitcoin?

JPM Coin Shitcoin+Review

We’ll cut to the chase - Jamie Dimon is annoying af.

We get that he appreciates blockchain, while shitting on Bitcoin...but if you don’t like decentralized blockchains - which is where the technology shines, then GTFO bruh.

Today’s review is JPM Coin aka JP Morgan Coin.

Let’s dive in…

Dascoin Shitcoin Review

Oh boy...the shills are back.

We’ve been getting requests to review Dascoin, and to be frank, we’ve been avoiding it because it’s pure crap.

Nonetheless, we have followers (who soon won’t be followers) once we explain Dascoin (not to be confused with DAS...a Dash fork).

Let’s dive in…

Skycoin Shitcoin Review

Skycoin, doesn’t have a large market cap, doesn’t have crazy volume, and doesn’t have the biggest name….yet a community is growing and John McAfee got a “tattoo” of it?

Why?

We’re not totally sure, but let us explain Skycoin to you so you at least understand their basic intentions.

Let’s dig in…

The Blockchain Industry. Do You Get It?

Hey guys - instead of a coin review, satire, or a technical explanation, we quickly want to touch upon the blockchain industry and how disruptive of a market it really is.

Craig Wright Celebrates Bitcoin 10 Year Anniversary by Proving He Is Satoshi

Tomorrow marks a glorious day for all shitcoin lovers and Bitcoin HODLers - the 10 year birthday of Bitcoin. Sir Satoshi created the genesis block on January 3rd, 2019. Craig “Fauxtoshi” Wright wants to finally prove that he is...Satoshi Nakomoto.

Lack of Crypto Scammers Shows Clear Sign of Capitulation

Live from the Shitcoin News team, it seems that capitulation has arrived. Most crypto traders on Facebook, Twitter, and Bitcointalk are yelling “capitulation!” - with most probably not knowing what it means.

Jackson Palmer Uses Crypto Profits to Open The Dogepound

Reported to us on December 26, 2018, Dogecoin founder plans to open The Dogepound, a dog kennel in Denver, Colorado.

XYO Network - Shitcoin Review

Another request from the community!

This one...is a bit out there we won’t lie, but has some interesting use-cases.

Today’s review is: XYO Network.

Let’s dig in…

Part 2 - LinkedIn Edition: Top 5 Ways to Land a Job in the Blockchain Industry

We got lots of great feedback on our “Top 5 Ways to land a Job in the Blockchain Industry” post, but some people mentioned that they have been following all of our tips and STILL are unemployed. So, we figured we would put together a list of tips that cannot fail. We hyper-focused our tips strictly to LinkedIn. This way you will stand out as a professional.

Let’s dive in…

Breaking: Man Pays Bail with Bitcoin

Reported to us on December 17,  2018, Florida man, Joel Dabroski pays his $500 bail with Bitcoin.

SIRIN LABS Token - Shitcoin Review

Whattup shitcoiners - happy Monday.

In light of a green day in crypto, we will review an ICO that actually completed a product.

WHAT?!?!?!? Yep, an ICO that didn’t dump their ETH :D

Today’s review is of SIRIN LABS token (yes, they seem to type it in caps like that…)

Let’s dig in…

Hydrogen - Shitcoin Review

Whattup shitcoiners - hope you’re ready to roll into the weekend.

Our community asked us to review/summarize a project we have not heard of until...well...today.

So, due to popular demand, we will review Hydro.

Let’s dig in…

Top 5 Ways to Land a Job in the Blockchain Industry

Everyone wants to get in on the blockchain action, but most don’t know how to really stand out.

Here are a few ways…

Fusion - Shitcoin Review

**Aaron starts beatboxing**

Mike *stands up from couch holding whiskey bottle*

“Been a while since we had a freestyle,

One major issue is interoperability,

Yes, that is our main responsibility,

If only there was a way we can be one,

Some sort of new way of FUSION”

Yes, folks, another cringy intro to the review of the day: Fusion. Chosen by popular demand via Twitter, Telegram, and email.

Let’s dig in…

SingularityNET - Shitcoin Review

Alright, folks!

Today’s review has been getting lots of attention, but we noticed some confusion about what the project really does...

Today we’ll explain SingularityNET so anyone can understand.

Let’s dig in…

Ring Signatures (and Ring CT) - Our Shitty Explanation

Listen up n00bs!

Today we will do another shitty explanation.

This time - it's ring signatures.

Let’s dig in…

BREAKING: Rudy Giuliani Searches for the Blockchain

BREAKING: Rudy Giuliani Breaks Down in Search for the Blockchain

Reported to us on December 6, 2018, Rudy Guiliani has suffered a stroke, but is now okay.

Trevon James tries to come back, but fails miserably…

BREAKING: Trevon James tries to come back, but fails miserably…

BCH ABC and BCH SV - Our Shitty Explanation

Whattup n00bs!

We have noticed LOTS of confusion around what the heck the difference is between BCH ABC (Team Ver and Bitmain) and BCH SV (Craig Wright and CoinGeek Bros).

To be honest, it is quite technical, which may be why there aren't that many concrete explanations...we’ll do our best to get you up to speed because you deserve to be in the know!

Jawn McAffy Undergoes Marilyn Manson Inspired Surgery

BREAKING: Jawn McAffy Undergoes Marilyn Manson Inspired Surgery

Binance Coin - Shitcoin Review

Suuuup

Today we’ll jump right into a coin we all know of...Binance’s baby.

Today’s review is Binance Coin.

Let’s dig in…

Medicalchain - Shitcoin Review

Whattup! Time for another quick review.

There are many projects competing in the healthcare space since the way patient data is saved and shared amongst different entities is all sorts of f****d up.

Requested by our community...today we will briefly go over Medicalchain.

Let’s dig in…

Zerocoin Protocol - Our Shitty Explanation

What’s up n00bs?

Are you using the word “Zerocoin” in your vocabulary, but secretly have no idea what it means? Well, you’re probably not alone…..BUT, have no fear.

We will break this shit down for you.

Let’s dig in…

BRAKING: New Addiction Taking Over Local Towns. Are Your Children Using?

Reported to us on November 26, 2018, local mother from Staten Island NY, Susan Biaganoli, spoke up to tell us about a rising epidemic in her neighborhood.

BREAKING: Family Abandons Son at Thanksgiving Dinner

BREAKING: Family Abandons Son at Thanksgiving Dinner

Learn from their mistakes...

Dandelion - Our Shitty Explanation

Happy Monday ya’ll!

Today...we will change things up. Instead of a coin review, we are itching to drop a bit more of our technical knowledge.

Today we will be discussing privacy, how transactions are broadcasted and more specifically a new privacy-focused implementation called Dandelion.

Let’s dig in….(let us blow your minds)

Credo - Shitcoin Review

Clearly, social media is taking hold.

Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, etc…

BUT...with many regards, email is still king. Email lists are super valuable, and when a user enters their email on a website, it is a much more thoughtful action than simply following someone on Twitter.

Today’s review is Credo, who aims to improve our email experience.

Let’s dig in..

Gnosis - Shitcoin Review

Prediction markets are slowllllyyy getting more popular in the crypto space.

Augur opened everyones eyes to it, but now there are others popping up.

Today’s review is of Gnosis.

Let’s dig in…

Raiden Network Token - Shitcoin Review

Everyone is buzzing about Bitcoin’s lightning network…

But...don’t other platforms need their own version/implementation of the lightning network, since most blockchains have inherent scalability issues..?

You betcha!

Today’s review is of the Raiden Network..and we will see if they can effectively be the lightning network for Ethereum.

Let’s dig in…

SmartMesh - Shitcoin Review

This morning our internet went down and we literally went crazy.

We had to do weird stuff like actually talk to each other or read a book.

Hours later the internet came back and we could finally function again and stare at memes.

BUT...wouldn’t it great if we didn’t need to rely on the internet as we know it..?

A good friend once told me, “The world is not anymore the way it used to be,”

“MM MM MM - NO NO NO”

Well, my friends, it is true. The world is indeed not anymore the way it used to be, crypto is changing the scene.

Today’s review is SmartMesh...and you will see why this intro was relevant.

Let’s dig in…

Veritaseum - Shitcoin Review

Happy Monday all!

It’s the afternoon and time for whiskey.

Whiskey means shitcoin reviews (yes, we are nerds).

This one will be VERI quick and to the point.

Today’s review is Veritaseum.

Let’s dig in…

GambleCoin - Shitcoin Review

It’s been a while since we went to the depths of shitcoin territory.

Heavyweight, reigning in at #1600 on Coinmarketcap….

Today’s review is GambleCoin.

Let’s dig in…

GoChain - Shitcoin Review

“YOOO Aaron turn up that Daft Punk, bruh”
*turns up volume*

lyrics:

Work It

Make It

Do It

Makes Us

Harder

Better

Faster

Stronger

“WAIT,” exclaimed Mike, “this reminds me of a slogan for a coin we have been getting requests for…”

Today’s review is GoChain which claims to be “smarter, better, faster, stronger” than other smart contract enabled blockchains. (holy crap that sounded nerdy)

Let’s dig in…

Propy - Shitcoin Review

Everyone wants to buy real estate.

BUT...it’s a pain.

Today’s project - Propy - aims to make the process a bit easier.

Let’s dig in…

BridgeCoin - Shitcoin Review

GIVE IT TO THE MAN, MAN.

CHARGING HIGH FEES AND SH*T.

DEX’s are the future...so some think.

Today’s review is of BridgeCoin.

Let’s dig in..

Everipedia - Shitcoin Review

Back at ya with a daily review.

This one will be short and shitty, to ease you into this week.

Today’s review is Everipedia.

Let’s dig in…

SALT - Shitcoin Review

Are you salty about the current bear market?

Feel like you could use some cash...but don’t want to sell your crypto?

Well have no fear, a shitcoin is here!

Today’s review is SALT.

Let’s dig in…

KuCoin Shares - Shitcoin Review

What’s your favorite exchange?

KuCoin? Nah, us either (lol)

Today’s review is of KuCoin Shares!

Let’s dig in…

Revain - Shitcoin Review

Another day, another review.

The greatest part about doiownashitcoin.com is that we can keep the reviews informative, blunt, and straightforward with no pressure from advertisers or sponsors.

More ‘formal’ review sites may pop up, some competition will come, but the raw content just won’t be as good...case and point. We’re savage, especially against competitors.

Today we will be reviewing a project called Revain, which is a blockchain based review site...thus, a competitor. DUN DUN DUNNNN. 

Let’s dig in…

Wings - Shitcoin Review

*licks hot sauce off of thumb*

“MM...mm...these wings are SO good.” Aaron said with his mouth half full

“Aaron, you’ve eaten like 25 wings so far, relax, you're hangry…”

“MIKE YOU RELAX...LETS TAKE A VOTE ON WHO THINKS I SHOULD STOP. OH WAIT WE’RE THE ONLY TWO HERE NEVERMIND” exclaimed Aaron…

“Vote? Wings? Are you thinking what I’m thinking, Aaron?”

That’s right folks, another cringy intro for today’s review: Wings!

Let’s dig in…

LUXCoin - Shitcoin Review

Been seeing this project pop up here and there.

Some say it has potential, and some say it is just another shitcoin destined for failure.

Ultimately, that is for you to decide after we drop dat knawledge.

Today’s review is LuxCoin.

Let’s dig in…

Nuls - Shitcoin Review

Happy Friday ya’ll…

Not the most exciting week in crypto, but also not half bad market wise.

Let’s end the week with a semi-interesting project: Nuls.

Let’s dig in…

FunFair - Shitcoin Review

We’re all degenerate gamblers.

Going all in on shitcoins...betting on random Augur markets...and of course, traditional gambling (card games, slots, etc).

Today’s review is of FunFair.

Let’s dig in…

Storm - Shitcoin Review

Welp, today’s review will be rather quick....probably like many of your sex lives ;) 

A simple ERC-20 token with a straightforward business plan…

Today’s review is Storm.

Let’s dig in..

Ravencoin - Shitcoin Review

With a Binance listing not too long ago and RAVING fans...people will appreciate this review.

We are not RAVING about it as much as others, but it seems interesting.

Today’s review is Ravencoin.

Let’s dig in…

Dropil - Shitcoin Review

Nice to see Bitcoin move a bit this weekend, eh?

Only slight gains, but at this point, we’ll take even a DROP in the bucket.

With the marketing DROPPING, every little bounce gives a reason to drink some more whiskey :D (although, a bear market also makes us drink….)

ANYWAYS, if you couldn’t guess from our awesome DROP play on words, today’s review is: Dropil.

Let’s dig in…

Bulwark - Shitcoin Review

In an industry filled with paranoia, privacy is at the top of our list.

Some privacy oriented coins are well-known, while others, not so much.

Today’s coin...not so much, but we see them bustling on Twitter.

Today’s review is Bulwark.

Let’s dig in…

QuarkChain - Shitcoin Review

Feeling particularly weird and impulsive today.

Not sure why, people always call us QUIRKY, but lately it’s been worse…

Wait..Quirky? Quirrrrrky….Quuaarrkkyyy….

Today’s review is Quarkchain...stfu and read along. You'll like this one. 

Let’s dig in….

SpankChain - Shitcoin Review

This is our 69th review!

What better than to review a project that has to do with all things NSFW ;)

Knowing the crypto community, especially with this bear market, adult entertainment has certainly been a huge source of….relief. YOU SICK BASTARDS.

Today’s review is Spankchain!

Let’s dig in…

Holochain - Shitcoin Review

HOLy mOly

This review will be off the chain...quite literally.

Today’s review is: Holochain.

Let’s dig in…

Dogecoin - Shitcoin Review

Such fun.

Much profits.

Very crypto.

You guessed it, today’s review is of the infamous Dogecoin.

Let’s dig in..

Mithril - Shitcoin Review

Happy Friday al!

We figured we will end the week with a project that isn’t overly technical and has a straightforward use-case.

Today’s review is Mithril.

Let’s dig in…

Waves - Shitcoin Review

This project has been making WAVES in the scene for some time now.

With a loyal following and decent LIQUIDity, they have a bunch of fans.

Can’t think of any more ocean related puns at the moment, so that brings us to today’s review: Waves.

Let’s dig in…

Lisk - Shitcoin Review

For all you dApp lovers, today should be an interesting review.

Most likely a project you know.

If not, you are a nub.

Cutting to the chase...today’s review is Lisk.

Let’s dig in…

Populous - Shitcoin Review

Been a while since you heard another freestyle from us ;)

Uh 1...2...3...4… *Aaron starts beatboxing*

Mike: “Crypto gives the people back their voice,

Governments, nations, and any haters just don’t have a choice,

Crypto gives us all opportunity,

For a new niche, new voice, and upward trajectory,”

Aaron: Nah nah...too typical of a topic. Let’s get a bit more personal about our crypto struggles.

Uh 1...2...3...4.. *Aaron starts beatboxing again*

Mike: “Starting a huge crypto business ain’t just something we dreamt,

Because now thousands of invoices are being sent,

But unfortunately for us, the bear market came,

And now no one can pay us, which is pretty lame”

*Aaron puts whiskey handle down and high fives Mike*

Mike: “Ohh baby, we’ll be stars in no time...but yo, imagine if we could somehow get money for our empty invoices..?”

This leads us to today’s project, which has a novel idea for the space, and is at #52 on Coinmarketcap at the time of this writing: Populous.

Let’s dig in…

GXChain - Shitcoin Review

Oh man...been one heck of a weekend.

Sunday, we literally had the worst hangovers we’ve ever experienced.

But, that was because Saturday night was OFF THE CHAIN…

Was that another cringey pun segue?

You betcha….it’s Monday, give us a break.

Today’s review is of GXChain.

Let’s dig in….

Qtum - Shitcoin Review

Do you love Bitcoin? :D

Do you love Ethereum? :D

Why not get the best of both worlds? :D

(okay, no more smileys)

Today’s review is of a coin that tries to combine the advantages of both networks into one.

Today’s review is… Qtum!

Let’s dig in…

IOST - Shitcoin Review

We hate all types of scalability.

As we get older, our weight scales poorly.

We step on a scale, then we step right off...who needs that hard hit of reality?

One scalability issue that we can talk about head on is that of blockchains.

As more people use it, the more important scalability becomes.

Today’s review is IOST, which is yet another project aiming to solve the blockchain scalability issue.

Let’s dig in…

Dragonchain - Shitcoin Review

We’re all dreamers in the crypto space.

Moons...lambos...pumps (without dumps)....the list goes on.

There is one project that might be your magic ticket to the moon (or not, who the heck knows..).

Today’s review is a project originally started by Disney - WHERE DREAMS COME TRUE.

If you hadn’t guessed, today’s review is Dragonchain.

Let’s dig in...

Tezos - Shitcoin Review

First post on our new blog today, woot woot!

Feels good :D

Today’s coin is competing with some of the big boys like Bubble Butt Buterin (no clue why we said that...probably alcohol...he should go to the gym and focus on leg day though. Although if he was a meathead, would that change the way you look at him? Why are you reading this? Time to get off of this tangent...)

As of late, this coin has been climbing the ranks on Coinmarketcap, sitting at #17 at the time of this writing.

Today’s review is of Tezos.

Let’s dig in…

Wagerr - Shitcoin Review

We BET that you haven't heard of today’s token.

Wanna BET?

How much you wanna BET?

Okay...we bet you already know that today’s coin has to do with….betting.

Well...you bet right!

Today’s review is of Wagerr….(that’s not a typo, two r’s is correct...classic shitcoin amiright?)

Let’s dig in….

Decentraland - Shitcoin Review

Virtual reality….

Cryptocurrencies….

Decentralization….

SO MANY BUZZWORDS...but so impractical.

This leads us to today’s review: Decentraland.

Let’s dig in….

OmiseGO - Shitcoin Review

OMG, we should be able spend crypto anywhere.

And as a business owner, it sucks having to wait for crypto, it’s like OMG WTF.

Wait..OMG?

Ahh...OMG.

Yes, another cheesy intro to the coin summary of the day: OMG (OmiseGO).

Let’s dig in…

Bitcoin Gold - Shitcoin Review

Hey guys, if Bitcoin used Equihash for its consensus algo instead of SHA-256, would you give a shit?

Neither would we.

Which brings us to today’s coin: Bitcoin Gold.

Let’s dig in…

RChain - Shitcoin Review

Classic 2017.

Don’t have a mainnet yet, whatever.

Will do a token swap for ‘meaningful’ coins once mainnet launches (hopefully), whatever.

Raise a quick $15M in two weeks, whatever.

This is precisely what happened to RChain...today’s review.

Let’s dig in…

Cybermiles - Shitcoin Review

*puts glass of whiskey down*

*exhales calmly*

“I live my life a quarter mile at a time..”

OR CYBERMILE AT A TIME AMIRIGHT?

Today’s review is Cybermiles.

Stfu, ignore this intro, and let’s dig in…

Bytecoin - Shitcoin Review

‘Another one bytes the dust,

And another one gone and another one gone

And another one bytes the dust, yeah!” - Queeen

Today’s review is of an OG coin that has a loyal community, sitting at #25 on CoinMarketCap at the time of this writing, but has been out of the spotlight for a while...Bytecoin!

Let’s dig in…

Storj - Shitcoin Review

Alright shitcoiners, we know your desktops are cluttered with shit.

If only there were an easy to solution to offload that junk to a blockchain...or something.

WELP...luckily many projects are working on just this.

One being Storj.

Let’s dig in…

Substratum - Shitcoin Review

Move over Pied Piper, there’s a new guy in town.

Unfortunately for Richard Hendrix, there is plenty of competition sprouting up in the race towards building a decentralized internet.

Today’s coin has been gaining traction, and requested by our community: Substratum.

Let’s dig in…

ChainLink - Shitcoin Review

[Scene begins]

*stands up from couch with half empty bottle of whiskey*

‘Back at ya with another freestyle ya’ll’

“Smart contracts are cool, but they kind of stink,

There’s no way to connect, if only there was a LINK,

But we find solutions, they call us the ORACLE,

Because this new idea will show you a miracle”

*plumps back on couch...looks up in deep thought*

“I wonder if there is a way to LINK these CHAINS to external API’s...like a decentralized oracle! This def doesn’t exist,” said very drunkenly

“We’ll be the next Ethereum!!! Holy SHIT!”

Turns out this idea exists...it exists very much...actually there are several options. We are idiots.

So, we feel compelled to discuss a project with you working on just this: ChainLink

While our writing tenses may be off, and our grammar sucks (perhaps purposely)...we can damn well tell you about them cryptos.

Let’s dig in…(after we sober up)

MakerDAO - Shitcoin Review

As the Winklevii release their stablecoin, we figured we should talk about an alternative.

It is MAKing waves in the space.

Today’s review is MakerDAO and their stablecoin, Dai.

Let’s dig in….

Electroneum - Shitcoin Review

Alright alright, today’s coin is a bit more controversial, lovers and haters.

But hey, controversy is part of who we are

“'Cause we need a little controversy

'Cause it feels so empty without me” - Eminem

Today’s review is Electroneum….

Lets’ dig in..

Quantstamp - Shitcoin Review

Besides Lord Vitalik and our own master dev, Aaron, most everyone sucks at programming.

Bug after bug after bug…

Hack after hack after hack…

UNTIL NOW.

Today we’ll explore Quantstamp, a security auditing platform for smart contracts.

Let’s dig in…

Civic - Shitcoin Review

We have no idea how the cluck this project got their domain

Even if they do have a mid level celebrity.

Today’s project is Honda Civic…

SORRY, just Civic…at civic.com...

Let’s dig in..

Enigma - Shitcoin Review

Eminem’s new album got us inspired.

*sips last drop of whiskey in the bottle…

Check out this freestyle, yo..

Okay, here we go

“Balls deep in shitcoins, don’t you know

It’s all we can think about - rain, sleet or snow,

Our life before crypto is such a blurr

There was no meaning, no purpose, that’s for sure,

And while crypto might have some sort of stigma

It don’t matter 'cause my life before crypto is such an enigma”

WAIT...ENIGMA?

Yep, that brings an end to another cringey intro, and to our coin review of the day….Enigma.

Let’s dig in…

Ontology- Shitcoin Review

Another request from the community.

There's been a shitton of confusion around this coin which we want to clear up.

People think this is the next big thing, but the use-case is a bit more focused than most think (because most are n00bs).

Today’s review is: Ontology.

Let’s dig in…

Ethos - Shitcoin Review

*puts whisky down*

Guys, the universe is one.

We are one in the same.

It’s beautiful…

BUT NOT IN CRYPTO.

Wallets suck, and you need an individual wallet for most coins.

One project (of many) working on a universal wallet is our coin review of the day: Ethos.

Let’s dig in…

Stratis - Shitcoin Review

WHEN MOON?

Let’s hope that this next altcoin bull run pushes us into the STRATosphere…

STRATosphere?

Was that another cheesy pun segue for today’s coin of the day?

You betcha.

Today we will review Stratis.

Let’s dig in…

Gincoin - Shitcoin Review

Second day of a low-tier shitcoin.

Low-tier shitcoins are fun to review because it shows just how careful you need to be when exploring shitcoins, there’s so many, and so many are total shit.

Today’s coin is GINcoin.

Let’s dig in…

NIX - Shitcoin Review

Today’s coin review is a cool one, and is a request from the community.

Today we shall review the NIX platform.

Let’s dig in..

Particl - Shitcoin Review

Oh yeah…bumpin’ to this music.

“You's a window shopper

Mad at me, I think I know why”

*raises volume while holding bottle of whiskey like a G*

“Jada you's a window shopper

In the jewelry store lookin' at shit you can't buy

Joe you's a window shopper”

Oh baby, we’ve been groovin’ to “Window Shopper” by 50 Cent.

Damn bear market has us window shopping, but we won’t let that hold us down.

Today's coin gets us excited to start buying shit when our coins obviously pump...

Today’s coin review is: Particl.

Let’s dig in…

*lowers 50 Cent*

Polymath - Shitcoin Review

Think ICO’s are hot shit?

Wait until we start to really tokenize securities (STO’s)

That will BOOM...way bigger marketcaps and fundraises than ICO’s.

Today we’ll discuss Polymath, a project aiming to streamline the STO process.

Let’s dig in….

Breaking: Hit Band Nickelback Breaks Up Over Dispute

Reported to us on August 22, 2018, the hit rock band, Nickelback has broken up.

Elastos - Shitcoin Review

THE WEB 3.0 IS COMING.

IN A SMART, NEW, WAY.

THE SMART WEB.

Today’s coin is Elastos, and we’ll explore their efforts for building a new Internet. (small feat)

Let’s dig in…

Golem - Shitcoin Review

Yo...screw Amazon. They keep getting bigger and bigger, but are they offering more?

ARE THEY TAKING POWER AWAY FROM THE MAN, MAN?

BEZOS, GATES, GETTING RICHER AND RICHER.

*deep breaths and shot of whiskey* Relax...relax. Maybe we're just salty because this bear market is forcing us to drink shit liquor.

Anyways, this brings us to a potential savior...another cloud computing solution: Golem.

Let's dig in...

Groestlcoin - Shitcoin Review

Today we'll be reviewing a coin that has been requested by quite a few members of our community.

Comin’ in hot with another shitty name: Groestlcoin. An excellent name that is super shitty for marketing and will hurt chances of mass adoption. It’s great having a name that you need to spell 5 times for people to learn about it….

Despite the shit name, it is considered an OG coin that has admittedly had a pretty consistent history considering the waves that occur in the crypto wold.

Let’s dig in...

SmartCash - Shitcoin Review

“ANOTHER ONE” - DJ Khaled.

This is often what comes to mind when we learn that another privacy coin is gaining traction.

WELP! Here’s ANOTHER ONE.

SmartCrash..I MEAN SmartCash.

Credit ‘SmartCrash’ to Lucca, a fellow shithead in our Telegram who coined that.

Also, if you are not in our Telegram, get the heck in there. We can chat live….we’re basically always on...

Anyways, let’s dig in…

Ardor - Shitcoin Review

*In a Game of Thrones mood*

HOOOODOORRR

HOODDLLLOORRR

HHAADDDOORRRR

AARRDDOORRR… ARDOR?

ARDOR.

Today we will be going over Ardor…

Let’s dig in…

Dash - Shitcoin Review

Let’s dive into some more private shit.

This is a solid coin that we are sure you know about. If you don’t then please unsubscribe from our mailing list.

Today’s coin is DASH.

Let’s dig in….

Useless Ethereum Token - Shitcoin Review

Alright, lately we have been reviewing mid-tier shitcoins.

The reason is partially because MOST coins are indeed mid-tier, it’s obviously a bell curve…

We’ll chat more about that as we fine tune our shittiness algo and release it ;)

BUT...we figured we should start throwing some more shitcoins in the mix....bring more of the savage and humor.

That’s exactly why the perfect segue (we wanted to type segway...or segwit..) is to review the Useless Ethereum Token (UET).

Yessir, that is the name of a real token, listed on HitBTC, that people trade.

WARNING: most shitcoins are not this obvious. Most are more clever and use crap jargon that we will call out in the future.

Anyways, let’s dig in to UET!

Namecoin - Shitcoin Review

Ever wish you owned bitcoin.com?

Blockchain.com?

Well...so do we (lol), but thanks to this project, there might be a whole new opportunity for domain names ending with “.bit”

Today we will briefly discuss Namecoin, an OG coin.

Let’s dig in…

Enjin Coin - Shitcoin Review

Happy Friday shitheads!

We started our whiskey drinking a bit earlier today.

As we get drunker, the more we want to start our weekends...go to the bar, hangout, maybe play some video games.

WAIT….VIDEO GAMES?

What a segway to our coin review of the day: Enjin Coin. Aiming to make video games better with moneyyy!

Let’s dig gin…

I mean let’s dig in….although we do like gin

Qash - Shitcoin Review

“I’m in it for the tech.”

Oh stfu, you want that ceeesshh….dat cash

Or maybe now, you want that Qash…

Today’s coin is Qash.

Let’s dig in…

Steemit - Shitcoin Review

We like steam powered boats.

We like steam powered cars.

And we like social media which is powered by STEEM.

Get it? :D (sorry, sometimes dad jokes are necessary)

Today’s coin review is Steem….

Let’s dig in..

Factom - Shitcoin Review

Today’s coin is seen as one of the best data storage solutions around.

And that’s a FACT(om)....

Today’s coin is Factom and we cannot think of anything funny about it.

So let’s dig in…

Bytom - Shitcoin Review

Tokenize everything.

Disruption.

That’s the name of the game and today we will review Bytom, a project aiming to tokenize all of our shit.

Let’s dig in…

MaidSafeCoin - Shitcoin Review

Data storage.

While we’ve expressed our issues with the distributed data storage business as with Siacoin (we think it’s kind of shit), there are others in the space that have been around longer that are worth mentioning.

Today’s project is, MaidSafeCoin.

Let’s dig in…

Bancor - Shitcoin Review

Liquidity in crypto is shit.

But, not anymore!

Bancor is a fascinating project that is trying to get rid of the liquidity issue entirely. Basically acting as a Shapeshift on steroids.

Let’s dig in…

Reddcoin - Shitcoin Review

Time to talk about a coin that has been in the game for a while.

It also hits close to home as it's the first coin Mike purchased (after BTC) back in early 2014.

Today we will chat about Reddcoin.

Let’s dig in…

WAX - Shitcoin Review

esports are gaining in popularity.

Video games are no longer just for the neck-bearded, virgin. Now, has there is opportunity for anyone to make millions of dollars and become an esports celebrity. While being a neck-bearded virgin, lol.

As competitive video gaming grows in popularity, so does the overall enthusiasm for in-game merchandise and other digital assets (such as CryptoKitties).

For example, people pay $1000’s of dollars for a f***n gun skin in counter-strike. That’s right, $1000’s for a SKIN. A skin is primarily just a cover to make your gun look cooler. It doesn't even improve the actual gun! Holy shit.

So...the Worldwide Asset eXchange (WAX) aims to disrupt the gaming, and virtual asset industry as a whole.

Let’s dig in…

Aion - Shitcoin Review

Scalability, scalability, scalability.

The transaction throughput of most blockchains is currently pretty shit.

CryptoKitties totally rekt Ethereum’s chain and that was a joke.  

Anyways...amongst many trying to solve this scalability issue, we have Aion.

Let’s dig in…

aelf - Shitcoin Review

Some more cool shit on this one.

This project aims to take blockchain tech to the next level by creating a “Linux ecosystem for blockchain”.

Today’s token is aelf.

Let’s dig in…

Ark - Shitcoin Review

With a shitton of Ethereum competitors coming out, it is important to keep up with the different solutions.

Today, we’ll be talking about one of many platform projects: Ark.

Let’s dig in…

DigixDao - Shitcoin Review

Volatility is some fun shit. It's like a roller coaster.

But...many plebs disagree, and want stability. Welp, it seems they are getting what they want.

Today we’ll talk about an interesting project that introduces a more ‘stable’ alternative. This project has more than 1 shitcoin associated with it! 2 in 1 baby...DigixDAO.

Let’s dig in…

Phore - Shitcoin Review

NEXT GEN MASTERNODE SMART CONTRACT ZEROCOIN SHIT.

Today we will be going over a coin not talked about too much: Phore.

Let’s dig in to this shit...

Nano - Shitcoin Review

Everyone bitches about Bitcoin’s scalability.

We get it, growing pains suck.

But...one upside to a new, highly competitive ecosystem with obstacles to overcome is that if can further fuel creativity.

Of course, we are more bullish on the future of Bitcoin's layer 2 scaling, and other alternatives, but let’s dive into a different mindset today.

This brings us to today’s review: Nano (formerly known as RaiBlocks LOL).

Let’s dig in…

Status - Shitcoin Review

Have you ever used a DApp? Be honest…

If not, then why? It’s probably because many are inaccessible to the masses who do not know how to compile and run software from source code (lol). And we don’t blame you...this shouldn’t require a computer science degree.

It’s time to take this shit to the next level...and we think that a project named Status is working on just that.

Let’s dig into what Status is all about.

Shitcoin Diamond - Shitcoin Review

Despite any market metrics, market cap, bla bla...today’s coin is a true shitcoin. F***n shit-tier as far as we are concerned.

We don’t know what the deal is with this shit.

Unknown developers, barely active Reddit, hardly any transparency, weird goal.

Bitcoin Diamond is the coin of the day. Honestly, these reviews are the least fun for us because there is often not as much to say, and it is less technical, but figured we should bang this one out and get it done.

Verge - Shitcoin Review

John McAfee said it would moon.

Facebook groups said it would moon.

Your friends said it would moon.

VERGE.

Enough said. It was one of the largest pumps….and dumps we have seen in a long time.

Let’s dig in to what Verge is about.

Augur - Shitcoin Review

Do you want moon?

Do you want lambo?

HOW BADLY DO YOU WANT THAT SHIT?!

Well, it’s time to step up your crypto gambling addiction. Stop trading boring old cryptos, and start using cryptos to bet on predictions. Oh, the thrill.

In the spirit of the recent mainnet launch, we will do a review of Augur. Augur is a prediction market, not a pure gambling/betting platform, we understand (for any quick smartasses out there).

Let’s dig in….

Siacoin - Shitcoin Review

All of your nude pics need to be stored in a secure, safe and reliable place.

So, why not turn to a high risk, decentralized, un-insured solution? Lol

The blockchain space is highly competitive, particularly relating to data storage.

One player in the game is Siacoin…

Let’s dig in.

Pundi X - Shitcoin Review

Crypto is awesome...it’s addicting...it’s fascinating.

But, is there any practicality with this shit yet?

Do you spend your crypto? Or do you just HODL for moonlambos?

One token on the rise right now, Pundi X, is aiming to help bring this shit to the masses.

Let’s dig in.

0x - Shitcoin Review

GIVE IT TO THE MAN, MAN.

Sick of this BS Scottrade $7 per trade crap? Fortunately, crypto has made trading cheaper. The fees on Bittrex, Poloniex, and others are relatively low, but we know it can get better.

Most DEX’s are currently shit, unsophisticated, and not user-friendly. While we believe in the future of DEX’s, we are also keeping an eye on decentralized exchange protocols. These are not ‘central’ DEX’s, but instead protocols that simply make trades happen.

We wrote an article on Loopring before, which has a similar feel.

Today, we’re gonna look at a shitcoin called 0x.

Let’s dig in. *puts Whisky down* (Blue Label, w00t)

PIVX - Shitcoin Review

Whether you were selling crack on Silk Road, or you simply understand the importance of maintaining personal privacy as an inherent human right, you are probably looking at some privacy shitcoins.

We love looking into these coins. One day we’ll do a comparison on a bunch of privacy coins, but today we’re looking at one shitty little coin that has caught our attention over the past year: PIVX (Private Instant Verified Transaction...but no one calls it this).

Let’s dig in and learn some shit.

MonaCoin - Shitcoin Review

So many shitcoins. So little time. So many are the same.

It’s easy to drown in the sea of shitcoins,  especially trying to keep current with all of them.

Fortunately, most are shit and don’t warrant much of your time, and that is why we are here.

Today’s will be a quick one. (Mostly because it’s July 4th here in the US and we’re trying to get our drink on. Challenge us in beer pong, we dare you. Wanna bet shitcoins? We’re down.)

Anyways, let’s dig in to MonaCoin, which does nothing special in our opinion. Certainly nothing that warranted their epic pump and dump back in December 2017.

Basic Attention Token - Shitcoin Review

We are all sheep to the media...don’t act like you don’t love it.

Laughing at memes, Facebook stalking, YouTube videos, clickbait.

It’s fast. It’s fun. It’s addicting.

Kind of like this blog?

So...given that we are helpless to the media and love consuming shit, let’s dive in to the shitcoin of the day: Basic Attention Token (BAT)...to reward you for your social media love.

Nebulas - Shitcoin Review

It’s Monday! No...it’s Monday for plebs not in crypto. Here in shitcoin land, we go 24/7/365. Every day feels the same and new shitcoins keep coming into existence at the same rate. We have become numb to time and space. That’s for a different conversation though.

Let’s get in to this shit...specifically Nebulas’s shit. We’ve gotten a few requests for this one.

Bitcoin Private - Shitcoin Review

Alright boys and girls, time for another shitcoin review.

Moving forward, we’ll be doing one coin review a day and post it to the blog. KEEP YOUR EYE ON THIS SHIT..DROPPIN' DAT VALUE. We’re a bit tipsy….it’s Friday, sue us.

If you want a coin reviewed, tweet at us.  

We’ve had a bunch of people ask about Bitcoin Private (BTCP).

Let’s dig in to this shit.

Loopring, Verge, and Zilliqa - Shitcoin Reviews #1

The market is down. Calm your shit.

You guys are smart enough to understand that these are the best times for buying, not for crying.

As the great Worren Buffit said, “When in doubt, buy shitcoins. I love Bitcoin.”

In the spirit of having shitcoins on sale, let’s dig in to a couple, specifically $LRC, $XVG, and $ZIL.