Do I Own a Shitcoin?

BREAKING: Rudy Giuliani Searches for the Blockchain

Dec 06, 2018

BREAKING: Rudy Giuliani Breaks Down in Search for the Blockchain

Reported to us on December 6, 2018, Rudy Guiliani has suffered a stroke, but is now okay.


Recently, former cybersecurity advisor to the White House (yes...that’s actually true) has been on a rampage claiming that someone hacked his Twitter (<-- lol, read that) when in reality he forgot to put a space when Tweeting about the G20 forum. Okay..honestly, go click on that link to see his Tweet, then click on the first Tweet in the thread that reads lmao

Okay, now, it is clear that Guiliani is a technical genius, but due to the recent backlash, he had to pump his ego and prove his expertise. These days, there is no better way to show off your technical knowledge than with some blockchain expertise.

His great-great-grandson, Frankie Guiliani who is 40 years old, recently told him about the blockchain and all of its benefits for providing a future with economic freedom. He also mentioned, "this shit is the next gold rush."

Guiliani’s first response was, “This sounds amazing. Where is the blockchain, I must have it.”

Frankie told him that it is a decentralized network - aka software. By the time he finished his sentence, Rudy was already out the door running for the hills, on his quest, to find the blockchain.

Frankie rubbed off the fact that his grandpa just sprinted out the door, figuring he must be back soon.

It turns out that Rudy is quite a determined man. He exhausted himself, searching through the woods, under rocks, and spending nights in the wilderness searching for the blockchain. A hiker going through the woods called the authorities when he found Guiliani on the ground talking to himself, repeatedly whispering "I will find the blockchain, I will find the blockchain, digital gold." 

He is now safe and back to normal in his D.C. home. He claims he will find the blockchain and become a master of it, but until then, he needs some rest.


Well, you heard it here first folks, from your team at Shitcoin News. Stay safe out there.

About Shitcoin News: Shitcoin News is a highly trusted, satirical media agency acting as first responders on high profile shitcoin related news stories. If you have a story to submit, or a scam you would like exposed, please email us at or follow us on Twitter.