Do I Own a Shitcoin?

Part 2 - LinkedIn Edition: Top 5 Ways to Land a Job in the Blockchain Industry

Dec 19, 2018

We got lots of great feedback on our “Top 5 Ways to land a Job in the Blockchain Industry” post, but some people mentioned that they have been following all of our tips and STILL are unemployed. So, we figured we would put together a list of tips that cannot fail. We hyper-focused our tips strictly to LinkedIn. This way you will stand out as a professional.


Let’s dive in…


  1. Show Number of LinkedIn Connections in Headline

Your LinkedIn headline does not only need to read “Blockchain Enthusiast,” or have a rocketship emoji but most importantly, you must show the number of LinkedIn connections you have. Honestly, apologies we didn’t mention this in the last post, but it’s so obvious we thought it was implied, ya know?

For example, if you have say….a modest 30,000 connections, whom you consider all to be friends, then definitely mention that in your headline.

Oh don’t have 30,000 LinkedIn connections? Well, you gotta “pump those numbers” up son. Get to work.


  1. ICO Advisor

Next up, you must be an ICO advisor. This can be anything from being a community manager to spamming people on LinkedIn to invest. Seemingly, anyone can do it. Every crypto pro is an ICO advisor and it’s a great way to gain meaningless tokens from ICOs.

The ideal title would then read:
John Smith: Blockchain Enthusiast | Cereal Entrepreneur x10 | ICO Advisor | 30,000+ Connections!!
Then, it is for you to decide where you want to sprinkle rocketship emojis in there.


  1. “Learn” about OTC

When you create posts on LinkedIn, mention “OTC” sporadically in your speech but DON’’T mention that your OTC knowledge is really from that time you saw a guy mention on FB that he saw a guy post that OTC is hot right now.


  1. Be a Hero

Be sure to take it upon yourself to be a do-gooder and protect the well being of all LinkedIn connections. The noblest way of doing this is to screenshot private messages of scammers who message you, then post those screenshots publicly to show that your moral compass is intact (and totally not vengeful…even though you just….forget it..). Long story short, you will be the unsung hero amongst your LinkedIn connections.

  1. Be Popular

Lastly, don’t be afraid to show how popular you are. There is nothing more hip than making posts, say 1-3 times a month, about how much you ignore peoples requests.

OH and the reasons you ignore them must be because:
- You get too many requests

- Recruiters are constantly after you

- Spammers

BUT never because it’s a legitimate request that you simply have no need for. The busier you are, the more everything is a burden. Own it.


One more thing. In bear markets like this, always stay positive no matter how you really feel, and post motivational content about HODLing and being different.

To be honest, at this point, everyone already hates you, so best case scenario the market really does rise again and you are a genius. Companies will be begging you to work for them. Drowning in requests.


Welp, ‘till next time. Be sure to follow us on Twitter!

- Michael Rosenblat from Shitcoin Satire Official Media Group, Inc, LLC.