Do I Own a Shitcoin?

BRAKING: New Addiction Taking Over Local Towns. Are Your Children Using?

Nov 26, 2018

Reported to us on November 26, 2018, local mother from Staten Island NY, Susan Biaganoli, spoke up to tell us about a rising epidemic in her neighborhood.


“Anthony is hooked,” she said trembling with tears. “He used to play basketball and hang out with his friends, but now….he is in his room all day wasting his life and money. When his friends come over, they sit in his room for hours using this crap. It’s an addiction that is taking over our local towns. It’s ruining our household.”

We asked to speak with Anthony, and after much convincing, he reluctantly came outside. He was ghost white, in his boxers, wearing his gaming headset and staring at his phone.

He told us:

“The rush is too’s addicting as hell, nothing else like it. I do think that people need to be educated on its effects, but I am not sure if it can really be used responsibly. I’m after moons and lambos...and there is nothing anyone can do to stop me. I started at 2x, then 10x, 100x doesn’t even phase more. The tolerance grows fast. Arthur is my hero and BitMEX just makes me feel…..good, you know?”

His mother continued the interview by telling us that he would steal money from her and do anything at all costs just for another rush. He has multiple 2-liter bottles filled with urine.

Additionally, she figured out how he got more Bitcoin, to keep using. He would go in shady alleyways using a network she referred to as “Local Bitcorns” where the deal would go down for more “stuff.”

Sad times indeed.

Well, you heard it here first folks, from your team at Shitcoin News. Stay safe out there and be sure your kids aren’t part of this new addiction.

Written by Michael Rosenblat of the Shitcoin News team

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